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The Bum Fiddler
Police Report Reporting Officer: Jackson Ashmore Date: July 18, 2014 I am writing this police report as a narrative to the recent investigation. I have investigated many serial murders, but this one so far stands out in my mind as the most peculiar. Our story begins last november, though later evidence shows that the murders began long before this. I was called in to help with the investigation of the murder of a Mr James T Halloway. Mr Halloway had been fown dead in an alleyway located in the local red district. One can only assume He had been there to elicit the services of the young women who work there. The body had been found completely dried out, as if it had been sucked dry of all moisture. Of course i found this completely peculiar, and awaited the results of the autopsy. The autopsy showed the body to have been completely emptied of all internal organs, including the brain, eyes, stomach, heart, nothing left but dried shriveled skin and bones. No sign of external entry was found however. Apon further investigation, the residing pathologist discovered a name scratched into the victims empty stomach cavity, as if by a finger. The name was that of a Mrs Kathrine L Pierce, a local vetrinarian. I joined the officer in charge of the investigation, Detective Jim Sheridan, to pay Mrs Pierce a visit. The house showed no sign of forced entry, yet mail was left piled on the doorstep as if no one had been there in days. After knocking on the door, we recieved no answer, so we entered cautiously via the unlocked front door. We found Mrs Pierce dead on her living room floor, body dried and shriveled as the last body, her face was left in a look of horror, with her empty eye sockets staring at an invisible killer. As we awaited the results of the autopsy, Det Sheridan shared several files from the investigation of other murders, each with the same Modus Operandi: Timmothy Jones, age 10, found dead in a school playground. Hank Morison, age 40. found dead at his place of work. Caroline Sanders, age 32. found dead in a wall parking lot after hours. Geroge Hall, age 65. found dead in his house by unsuspecting wife. More and more files of victims, no connections to any of them except the same method of death: bodies had been cleaned of internal organs, and the name of the next victim scratched into the empty stomach cavity. the results of Mrs Pierce's autopsy came in, the name inside her was Jane Calvert. We rushed to her home in fear of arriving to late. Fortunately we found her still alive, yet living in a state of paranoia. After a few questions, she began to recount an encounter she had the other night. She had been walking home alone when she met a tall figure standing in her way on the sidewalk. He stood at about 7 feet tall, and wore a dark green old fashioned suit, with a matching dark green top hat. She remembered staring at his hands, covered in white gentlemens gloves, yet his fingers where abnormaly long, she estimated the smallest finger was at least 1 foot long. Long dark hair covered his face from under his top hat, yet she could see from behind his hair a large red cheshire grin. She asked him what he wanted, yet he remained silently grinning while slowly removing his gloves. His long fingers each possessed a small mouth on the tip with sharp teeth. He reached out to grab her, but she turned and ran, managing to outrun the creature. She told us she had seen him since, watching her outside her window, as if waiting for an opportunity to enter. We agreed to keep post outside that night to try and apprehend him. Around 8:30 that night, we heardf screams coming from the houe. Det Sheridan told me to check the back of the house while he entered the front. Finding no sign of forced entry, we rushed up the stairs to her room. I barely got a glimpse of her dead body before a blur shoved me into the closet and barracaded the door. I struggled to break the door down, but to no avail. I watched through a crack in the door as Det Sheridan fired 3 shots at the figure, but the bullets had no effect on it. He stared in wonder at the creature before asking in a shaky voice "who are you?" The creature stood still for a moment, before slowly removing his gloves. I watched in amazement at his long fingers, reaching nearly to the creatures knees. It reached out and grabbed Det Sheridan and drew him close to its face, before responding. Its voice was deep, and it spoke in a heavy Lancashire accent. "Im the Bum Fiddlah," it said, "and Im about to fiddle ya Bum!" It then lept out the window, Det Sheridan in hand, out into the dark night. Its been months since that night. No sign of Det Sheridan has been found, and the murders seem to have stopped for the time being. My superiors are forcing me to close this case as a Cold case. Im writing this in hopes that as new evidence arrives, the next person to take this case may have enough information to capture this creature and end its murder spree. I can only hope that someday, this case may finally be solved and closed. Category:Deletion Log Refugees Category:English Class Failure Category:Cliche Madness Category:Pasta Trying To Be Good When It Sucks Enough To Be A Troll Category:Title that makes babbies laugh